How To Strain Your Dragon
by Silverskink
Summary: When a mysterious self-proclaimed Sun Dragon with an army of ninjas starts ruffling feathers in New York's underground, a local Mokole finds herself the object of some unwanted attention. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't babysitting an explosively-cursed Garou and battling her own limbs for some reason.
1. Chapter 1

How to Strain Your Dragon

**Dramatis personæ**

The following characters are Player Characters, which means that while they are very well defined in terms of behaviour and relationships, they may bend a few stereotypes of the World of Darkness.

Kate Collins: Shining Gumagan Mokole, child of Volcano. Wrecker, trucker. Usually a young Australian aboriginal woman, occasionally a perentie, other times an oversized armour-plated spiny parasaurolophus.

Theodorus: Powerful being cursed in to form of mundane semi truck.

Zach Tizonneaux: Shrouded Mokole Mbembe, child of Finch. Brightly-attired copper-skinned youth. Trim archid form appears as a human-sized chameleon with gecko pads. Capable of human speech in any form.

Maxamillion Karnaj: Philodox Glasswalker ex-Shadow Lord, child of Hummingbird. Cursed ex-millionaire trying to re-establish stolen identity. Currently attempting mechanic apprenticeship under strict supervision of somewhat distrusting Mokole Kate.

* * *

_Dear Jimmy,_

_Well here I am again, still alive and kicking despite the best efforts of my companions. I hope this letter finds you well. It's been pretty miserable here for the most part, it's wintertime and it's constantly overcast. I haven't seen the sun in months, and it's not doing much for my temperament (although it's not as bad for me as it is for my friend Zach- cloudy days really get to him, if you know what I mean. _

_You're not going to believe this, but I've taken on an apprentice. I know! Even better (worse?) he's one of my 'missions' if you know what I mean. I'm actually really grateful for the opportunity. It's nice to be working shoulder-to-shoulder with the natives, and he follows the rules I set down. Additionally, I have been learning a lot about his people which has been very fortunate. I still think they're strange and a little barbaric but I guess you're going to get that when your people's destiny is what it is. Pretty much everyday I thank Gaia I am what I am and -maybe more importantly- I'm not what I'm not!_

_In between my mission work and apprenticeship work's been good. Reliquary Wreckers is pretty slow, which gives me lots of free time to pursue my other interests, and it's rural and private with a lot of space, which gives me a lot of freedom to pursue my other interests. I had a funny experience the other day, I was fixing up a Dodge van. I started talking to the engine, you know, trying to maybe get it to tell me what was wrong with it (hee hee...) gave it a bit if a shake and a damned gremlin fell out right in front of me! So of course I asked it what the hell it thought it was doing, and it said it had gotten lost, and it thanked me for setting it free, ha ha. _

But it hadn't been a gremlin really, It was a spirit, a part of a car engine. A belt-spirit of all things. I knew there were a lot of spirits, but seriously...? The tiny spirit implored me tenaciously.

"There must be something I can do for you!" it warbled. It wasn't a very powerful looking spirit. I was doubtful.

"Can you teach me anything?" I asked. "Do you have any gifts?"

"I can teach you about belts!" The spirit enthusiastically offered. Eh, I was a mechanic, I knew about belts.

"I mean, like, ah-"

"Our job is to give and take and give and take. We need balance. We take what you have, and we share it with they who need it. We thrive under friction. We constrict. We like to keep things tight. We-"

"THANKYOU," I interrupted. "Ah, it's okay, I mean, thanks. The spirit looked crestfallen.

"You- you do not need our philosophy..?" it whimpered.

"It's not that. It's just-"

"It is okay. I will find another way to make it up to you," the spirit declared.

_If you know what I mean. Heh heh. Oops, it looks like someone is coming in to the yard, I've got a customer! I'll be right back._

I peered through the window at the shiny black Audi that has just pulled in to the yard and parked a little away from my office. Four highly-suspicious looking suited men in sunglasses stepped out and started glancing around the yard. I peered carefully at them, looking for what was really wearing the suits, and saw a pack of wolves following an alpha. I gave a little curse- my employed Garou ambassador was on a private trip, and I didn't have any backup. Hopefully these wolves weren't looking for trouble. I stepped out of the office to face whatever they were bringing, crossing my arms.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I help you?" I asked without a smile.

"Are you Kate Collins?" the Alpha replied.

"Who's asking?"

"Horace Urban. We're following up on some recent criminal activity in New York City and we'd like to ask some questions." Ooh, this ought to be good.

"Where are you from?"

"My team and I are the Vigilant Sons from the Special Interest branch at the Sept of the Green."

I was not on very good terms with the Sept of the Green, or, they were not on good terms with me. I frowned, and wondered if they knew what I was about to say to them.

"Mr Urban, every time the Sept of the Green ask for my help, it turns out they are trying to get me killed. Even if I do wind up trying to help them, they thank me by doing me the favour of letting me leave with my life. I have to tell you this, so please listen carefully: You are not welcome here," I warned. "Your superiors mustn't like you very much," I added as an afterthought.

"We're not here to kill you, Dragon. We're not interested in your past encounters with the Sept. We are just looking for information. Do you know anything about the Sun Dragon?"

Urban's arrogant demeanour was getting on my nerves, but not enough for me to do anything drastic yet. "What do you mean? The Sun Dragon?" The Sun Dragon? A Sun Dragon? A Son Dragon? "You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"Three weeks ago some business associates of ours went in to a transaction with The Sun Dragon," Urban recited in a blase tone as if filling me in on details was a waste of his time. "It was a private, somewhat delicate affair with discretion being key. Three nights ago they were supposed to meet to finalize arrangements, and instead of sealing the deal they were attacked. With fire. This unexpected, unprovoked move killed all of the negotiating party."

"I don't introduce myself as 'Dragon', or conduct business as 'Dragon'" I pointed out. "What has this got to do with me? Is this actually a Dragon we are talking about...?" I wasn't aware of any other Mokole in the city, but it was a big city.

"As far as we can tell, the Sun Dragon is some kind of Chinese agent," Urban replied. "He claims to have ties to a well-respected family with business in Detroit. He runs a-" the Garou inclined his head at Theodorus "-trucking company, which we have recently confirmed is a front for an army of ninjas. And the party he wiped out were Clan Giovanni."

I waited for him to elaborate. "Vampires," he supplied.

"Ah," I reflected. "You are chasing a trucking sun Dragon who wantonly wipes out vampires. Now I see why you're here, at least. Well, this is the first I've heard of him, I don't know anything about it, except for that based on what you've told me I think I like the guy."

Urban turned to his Beta, who nodded. I'd seen Truth of Gaia at work before. "But, by all means, don't take me for my word, it's a well known fact Dragons are liars," I baited sourly. "Is there anything else you want?"

"We're not here to reprimand you, and we're not here to chitchat-"

"That's a really nice car," I said, cracking a smile for the first time as I walked over to a stack of crushed cars that towered over my head. I leaned on one arm against the pile of wrecks. "Did you know I don't actually have a working car crusher here?" I beamed at him. "Get off my property."

Threatening Garou is always a gamble. I suspected Urban and his 'team' were totally prepared to tackle me in a fight if it had come down to that, and I'd be a fool to think that I could beat four prepared Garou. I also suspected that like most Glass Walkers, Urban would be a vain, materialistic over-compensating car lover. His pack could defend themselves, but his precious shiny Audi against a dragon trained and practised in wrecking vehicles? It was a bet that paid off. Urban gave me a very unamused look as the group got back in the car and left the yard. I watched them leave, then rolled my head on my neck. Yeowch. That was more stress than I needed in a day. I sighed, rolled my shoulders to release some tension, and went back to work.


	3. Chapter 3

"Elegant."

"Thank you, Zach. Yes, I would like a hand up," I retorted. I awkwardly picked myself up off the floor and arched my back. "Urgh."

I'd just tripped over my feet -again- in my living room. I was pretty sure Zach didn't know it was the third time it had happened to me this morning. I was a little grouchy at myself for being so clumsy. We were heading in to the kitchen for lunch. As I finished stretching the door to my office opened following a quick knock, and Max poked his head in to the room.

"Hi Kate. Uh... I'm here to ask you something."

"Yes?" Gao! Thank Gaia he hadn't walked in thirty seconds earlier.

"You know how you said I'm not allowed to have anything in my shed that you don't check out first, right?"

"Yes...?"

"Can I have another gun?"

"What? How many frigging guns do you need?"

"This one doesn't work. I got it for free, a Bone Gnawer gave it to me. I thought I could try and fix it up? Call it a project?"

"Oh. It doesn't work? What's it made out of? It... doesn't have silver parts or anything, does it? It's not a fetish?"

"Nope, just a everyday gun that doesn't work."

"Can I see it?"

"Sure." Max pulled it out of a brown paper bag he'd been holding. I smiled inside at the thought of Maximilian Karnaj being reduced to receiving brown paper packages from Bone Gnawers. He handed me a small, heavy nondescript handgun. It certainly felt like it had been in the ownership of a Bone Gnawer. It wouldn't have surprised me if it had been unearthed. I handed it back to him with a grimace.

"Good luck with that..."

* * *

I was a saltwater crocodile, and I hadn't hatched yet, so I was okay. I was a tiny baby crocodile snugly curled up around my yolk inside my egg. Had I more experience than my pre-hatching existence, I might have had descriptions for the sensations inside the egg – the temperature, the relative darkness – but who has a name for darkness that has never opened their eyes? Right now I just Was, and that was okay. It wasn't going to stay okay for much longer, though. I had pretty much outgrown my egg and was beginning to feel it was time to start using all these new body parts. I started looking for a way out. Wriggling seemed to come naturally, but I didn't have a lot of space t

I often wondered if the other changing breeds had as bizarre dreams as we Rememberers. I woke up to find myself tucked tightly in a ball, my arms folded in, my knees tucked up under my chin. With a surprising amount of required effort I unfolded all my limbs, threw on some clothes and headed down to find some coffee.

* * *

"Do you remember hatching? I mean, do you have memories of hatching?" I asked Zach later that day. I was sitting in my office reading over an inventory. Zach was giving a design I'd sketched an expert look-over. I hoped. He was the closest thing to an expert I had nearby.

"Waiting for eggs to hatch? Watching eggs hatch? Helping hatchlings? Yeah, of course," he replied. "That's a bit of a weird question. Why do you ask? Someone need help? You're not...incubating anything, are you?"

"Pfft. No, I mean, _you_. Your hatching. Breaking out of your own egg."

"I don't think so... But, I don't remember being born either, and that's not exactly strange."

"Mm, yeah, I guess." That was true. "Ah... listen, I was thinking about taking a trip this week to find some sunlight. Just get out of town, maybe to Connecticut or something. How does that sound? You want to come?"

"That sounds great," Zach emphatically replied. "Are those two trains of thought related at all? Are you going to find a sunbeam and rediscover your inner... whatever?"

I laughed. "No. I am just feeling fed up with this place, and this winter, and this lack of sunlight, and this damned stiffness," I stretched my arms over my head. "I want to get out and relax. I thought you might like the offer."

Zach gave me a scrutinizing look. "What's with that? You keep complaining about being stiff all the time. I don't think I've had a whole-body ache since I was a kid. Even then it was only after sports day at school. What have you been doing to yourself?"

"Nothing! It's nothing. I'll be fine." I would be fine. So what if lifting my arms was twice as hard as it should be? I did a lot of physical work, a lot more than a human could, but I could handle it. I was my own boss, I had scheduled a holiday for myself to recharge the batteries. No worries.

Zach was staring at me, and I realized I was hunched tightly over the desk on my elbows, with my hands propping up my head like a waterlogged tent. I made a conscious effort to keep my head up and dropped my hands on to the desk in what was supposed to be a nonchalant manner. They slammed on to the desk rather more alarmingly than I'd intended or expected, and lay there like totally immobile lead pipes. Unable to continue matching Zach's questioning gaze, I looked out the window instead. There were two men approaching the office that did not look like they were looking for junk yard services. I gave them my standard Stare In To Your Soul treatment, and gave a slightly dismayed sneer at the result.

"Rats," I said. I glanced back at Zach to see his chair empty. I barely had a chance to steal a glance upwards before my visitors let themselves in to the office.


	4. Chapter 4

_They were all "Blah de blah bling whatever," and they kept calling me "Lady-gator". I've been in New York a couple of years already, but I still don't catch on to these dialects terribly quickly. Even after I'd figured out what they were saying, I had no idea what they were talking about. It wasn't until they actually spelled it out to me, they were confused about the motivations of the Sun Dragon. Again I'd been mistaken for a Chinese mafia figurehead. It was kinda funny but at the same time I was not really happy about the types of visitors Reliquary was beginning to attract. Apparently my arrival and actions here have been noticed by an very interesting variety of groups. Anyways, these particular visitors meant no harm, they were just confused about my connection, understandably, as I don't actually have any connection to the 'Sun Dragon'. Once they figured that out they buggered off._

I had been writing the letter on my couch upstairs, hoping it would help me relax. I hadn't really written much but I was already tired of it as my elbow had kind of locked in stiffly next to my hip and I was beginning to feel kind of glued to the couch. I tried to put my pencil down, but my hand had been gripping it so tightly it stuck to my skin. Maybe it was time to go and do some more work in the yard.

I marched downstairs and headed out to my workshop. As I left my office I was confronted by another strange visitor. A Chinese man wearing a black silk shirt and a very non-nonsense expression had arrived by means unknown. He was bald with a fu-manchu moustache, and stocky build for an Asian. He had been about to knock when I opened the door. I gave him a surprised look up and down. "Can I help you?" _Now what?_

"I am here to speak to the Dragon," the man stated.

"Okay... what do you want?"

"Take me to the Dragon."

"The Dragon does not like visitors who arrive uninvited," I snapped, deciding that if he persisted I would introduce him to the Dragon, and he would regret it. "Tell me what you want and I will answer for you. Who are you? Where are you from?"

"I am Gan. I bring a message for the Dragon from the Sun Dragon of New York."

"You're from the Sun Dragon!?" I gave him a Deep Look, and was slightly disappointed to find the Sun Dragon had sent me a mere human messenger. "Oh. We've heard of him. You must be one of those Ninajs." Gan glared at me. "Go on..."

"The Sun Dragon sends his greetings. The Sun Dragon recognizes your established presence in his kingdom, and wishes to extend an offer of alliance to his friends."

'In _his_ kingdom?' It seemed like an unusual lack of respect for established territory. Maybe I was the one encroaching. How could I have missed a Dragon in New York for so long? "How long has he been here?" I asked.

Gan did not falter. "The Sun Dragon has extended his presence to New York as a display of power to his would-be rivals in Detroit and Chicago factions. In doing so, he has found there is sometimes confusion amongst other New York parties as to his identity as Dragon. As such, if you were to align yourself with him, you would benefit from the power of his empire."

"He's new around here and he's decided he'd like to share my territory?" I was beginning to feel a little annoyed at Sun Dragon's attitude, and Gan's demeanour was not helping. "He can have the city, it's full of Garou anyway. Of course I would be willing to support his efforts in the aide of Gaia should he need help. I would like to meet him. You may be interested to know I have other allies to our cause as well- even some Garou."

Gan's eyes narrowed. "You deal with the Garou?"

"I figure we don't have a choice anymore." I gave Gan a hard look. "It was a carefully considered decision. If Sun Dragon would like to discuss my choices-"

"Sun Dragon does not deal with the petty squabbling of primitive gangs. I fear I may be wasting your time. Your reputation exceeds you, Dragon." Gan smiled condescendingly. Now he was really annoying me.

"Fine then! You can tell Zhong Lung that if he would rather make deals with vampires than Garou and send insults to Gumagan, he can be that way. But I'm getting tired of his shit floating down to my watering hole. I have an in with the Sept of the Green, and I"m going to tell them exactly what you said about them. And if I keep getting bottom dwellers and rats showing up here looking for him, I'm going to give them whatever treatment I feel they deserve. If Mr. Sun Dragon has an issue with that, then he can come and take it up with me _personally_. Are we clear?"

The 1987 Ford Taurus was mounted on service blocks several inches in the air, and I was lying underneath it on a dolly. I had been working on it on-again, off-again, putting in time when I wanted to take my mind off something else. I'd had enough of it for today, but I'd just noticed something else strange. My wrench was sticking to my hand, the same as my pencil had earlier. I uncurled my finders from it, and it stayed nestled in my palm. I slanted my hand to assist gravity, but the heavy wrench held fast as if magnetic. What now!?

I plucked the wrench out of my hand with my other hand, and immediately the properties were lost. The wrench gave its full weight to my left hand, and dropped naturally when I put it down. Utterly confused, I hoisted myself out from under the car. As the dolly slid out the car started rolling with it, descending thew ramp and neatly sandwiching me. As I realized what was happening I panicked. Unable to move in any direction in the cramped conditions I instead got as skinny as I could, slipping down to my lizard form. A second later the car and the dolly had reached ground level, and my much smaller body was pressing up against the underbelly of the car. I scrambled a little- instinctively a lizard doesn't want to lie belly up- but I didn't have space to flip over. Instead I grabbed on to what I could and crawled along the bottom of the car. The dolly faithfully followed me, although the smooth skin of my back should not have had offered that much purchase. I paused. I didn't want to be glued upside-down to a trolly the way the wrench had been glued to my hand. I curled around and changed direction, crawling out from under the car's passenger door. I awkwardly twisted and grappled the tire in an effort to flip up the right way and continue dragging the rest of myself out from under the car. I was able to get oriented finally, and I arched my spine to free my back legs while I looped my tail out. It took me a second to notice what I was doing. As a lizard I was flexible again. I could slink free and loose in any direction I wanted. I laughed. "Alright! Awesome!" I should have tried this sooner. I slithered away from the car and became human again. I noticed a few sharp twangs around my body, like I'd jabbed a few nerves, but otherwise I was back to my old self. I retrieved the dolly from under the car, returned it to my workshop, then drove the car back out in to the yard.

My relief did not last. A couple of hours later I was feeling stiff again, and by the end of the day I was fighting the whole-body clench. To avoid the pressure while I slept, I tried a short spell as a lizard again before retiring or the night. The experience was the same – total relief in suchid, a few tight pulls when I stood up straight again, but otherwise tension-free.


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke the next morning in worse shape than ever. I was tightly bound up in a ball, my head tucked deeply in chin-to-chest, my fists so tightly clenched I had cut my palms with my fingernails. My feet were cramped because even my toes were curling around. I sighed and wasted no time taking my suchid form again. I didn't bother switching back. I struggled out of my night clothes and bedsheets and stalked downstairs.

In my kitchen Max was looking as miserable as he usually did in the morning. "Good morning, Kate...?" he said in puzzled tones. I acknowledged him with an inclination of the head. I trudged in to the kitchen, opened a cupboard and dragged a plastic bowl out on to the floor. Leaving the cupboard open, I stood up to peer on to the bench. I reached my right arm up to rest on the counter top. I could rest my elbow there but not quite my armpit. I pointed at the coffee pot.

_"COFFEE!"_ I hissed. I knew Max couldn't understand Dragon's tongue spoken by perentie, so I snapped my jaws repeatedly as well. Max looked at me and put is hand on the handle of the coffee pot.

"...Coffee...?" He ventured.

_"THAT'S RIGHT,_" I enunciated. I slipped back down on to the floor and tapped on my bowl impatiently. "HERE!"

Max looked and acted uncertainly. "You want your coffee in a bowl?" I nodded.

_"THAT'S RIGHT!"_

"Okaaay..." He bent over and poured the contents of the pot in to my bowl.

_"THAT'S GOOD."_ I held up a hand. _"THANK YOU."_ He stopped pouring and tidied up the clutter of disregarded bowls and open cupboard door I'd left.

"Don't feel like talking to me today?" Max asked as he worked. I replied with a little shrug and a little head shake.

_"No, it's not that. I just couldn't stand the thought of being homid today. Don't take it personally."_

I finished my coffee and we headed out the back to work, Max walking behind me.

Once we were out in the yard I tuned in to my high calibre lizard. I had work to do and I was tired of being tired all the time, so I had decided it was a heavy lifting and/or demolitions day. Max and I were building up an understanding, we could communicate enough to get work done. We couldn't quite communicate enough to chit chat, and he was mildly confused about why I had been a reptile all day. I think he was slightly bothered by the fact that I wasn't bothering to explain myself. Whatever.

We made the most of the day and kept very busy. By the end of the afternoon I was doing tasks I probably did not really need my super dimensions for, but I was feeling fine. No stiffness, no stretching, no need reason to stop being monstrous as far as I could see. In the evening I made a bonfire and curled around it. Max joined me for part of the evening, but mostly it was just a bit of quiet contemplative time with the overcast night. After a few hours I opened my second shed- the one completely void of tools, parts, or any other clutter- and settled in to sleep.

I was locked in a crouch at the intersection of Broadway and 42nd street. For some reason. The sky was overcast but it was daylight hours, and the intersection was full of the usual swarms of traffic and crowds, and one very out of place dinosaur. People were honking their horns and pedestrians were shouting at me to get out of the way. I was low to the ground, and even my usually-alert tail was lying on the road adding to the congestion. I could barely move my head for all the people around. Benjamin Plundermonk was about two feet in front of my nose, standing over my face.

"I didn't know you were a cop," I puzzled. He was wearing an NYPD uniform and writing on a notepad. His visible eye gave me a stern look.

"You're not allowed to park here, ma'am. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"What!? I'm not parked, I'm stuck! I think someone put a tire clamp on one of my back wheels. I can't move." I tried to look back at my rear wheels but I couldn't turn my head. I was stuck rigidly facing forward. I couldn't even look up at Plundermonk. He finished writing the ticket and taped it to my neck. "Hey!" I was beginning to panic. I couldn't even wriggle.

"Now, are you going to move, or are we going to have to get you toad?"

At the sight of Benjamin's many-named mystic companion grinning all too enthusiastically as he prepared to toad me, I had given a sharp shudder strong enough to actually wake me up.

But not unfreeze me.

I groaned loudly. I had somehow tucked my head under what would have been my wing, had I been a different kind of dinosaur. The rest of my limbs and tail were tucked super-tight against my body, and my spines were sticking in to me. My eyes felt glued shut. Everything was tense.

"Ouch."

_"Zach? Sorry to shout at you. What are you doing here?"_ I tried pulling my arm off my face and opening my eyes. Urgh. I was moving like setting concrete.

"You slept in. Max has no idea why you're doing anything you're doing anymore, and so he called me because he thought I'd be able to handle Strange Behaviour Morning Dinosaur Kate better than he would. I thought he was probably right." I had made it up to my elbows and knees. I didn't know if I could make it any further. My tail was actually dragging on the ground, and I felt like I was carrying Theodorus on top of my armour. "You look awful," Zach helped.

_"Thanks,"_ I grunted.

"It's kind of painful to watch. Still that same problem?"

_"I thought I had it beaten,"_ I sighed._ "It only seemed to be effecting me when I went around in homid, y'know?"_

Zach gave a wry grin. "Some things Max was saying are beginning to make a bit more sense."

_"Yeah, probably. Argh! I'm so TIRED of this!" _I dropped back down to the ground._ "I can't move! I can't even stand! Shit!"_

"It probably doesn't help that you weigh more than an elephant. Come and join us here at camp homo sapiens, I'll make you breakfast, you can go and have a shower or a massage or something. Staying locked up in a cramped shed is not going to do you any good."

He had a point. I tried to wish my frustration away with my warform and was left a very tired but loose-limbed woman.

"Aw, you didn't tell me it was pants optional day!" Zach whined. I laughed. Being naked in front of Zach or any other Mokole didn't really bother me. I had forty thousand years of lifetimes in my head, only the last two centuries wore clothes, and a lot of them were unwilling.

"Oh yeah... I forgot, I didn't get dressed yesterday. Oops." I shrugged. "So. Breakfast. I could eat a horse."

"Yes you could," Zach agreed. "Do you want me to go out and find one?"

"Nah, I'll send Max out for one late-" I was interrupted by Warren suddenly walking in though the door. He froze, quickly averting his eyes from me and then putting his hands up in front of his face.

"Oh! Sorry-" He stammered.

"Oh yeah, Warren's here," Zach mentioned. I put my hands on my hips and struck an assertive pose.

"Good morning, Warren!" I exclaimed. "Zach! What have I told you about letting your pets off the leash?"

"I- uh, I didn't know you g- ah, I'mgonnago." Warren bustled blindly, desperately for an exit only to bump in to Max on his way through the door.

"I heard you guys talking, so I figured the coast waSWEET MOTHER GAIA _KATE'S NAKED!_" The Garou stood stunned for a split second as a slight aura built up around him.

"Oh shi-"

"Warrengetdow-"

"Urk!"

"Eek!"

_**BZZZZZZZORCH!**_


	6. Chapter 6

By the time the smoke cleared I had decided that Max had had enough over-stimulation for one morning, and was once again kissing the dirt as a considerably less provocative lizard. I glanced around to see Zach splayed out horizontally at the point where the wall met the floor, his colours flaring with alarm, his eyes darting around the room. At a second glance I realized he'd actually tackled Warren to the wall and was covering him. _Lucky Warren_, I thought. _I bet he's loving that_. Zach not so much. Looking closer at the chameleon revealed slightly smouldering laser scorch marks hidden amongst the patterning down his back.

Max was lying on his back in a crumple just inside the door. I made my way over and inspected him. He stank of burning. His clothing was seared away in what appeared to be a mass of tiny burn dots, some isolated, some clumping together to form larger holes. He was still smouldering. He groaned, and flailed his limbs a bit.

"Don't look at me like that," he sighed. I guess it's not much fun being cursed.

_"You're a disgrace,"_ I told him. I circled around and went to see how Warren and Zach were.

"What the hell is this?"

The highway was flanked by heavy machinery and flagged signs warning to reduce speed. Theodorus's roar rose a register as we slowed down for the construction zone.

"Should have known it wouldn't be that easy to get out of New York and find Sun," Zach remarked dryly.

"Right. One bloody thing after another." I scowled in agreement. "Oh, crap."

We had reached a section of construction that included part of a bridge. A large highway sign warned 'HEAVY VEHICLES TAKE ALTERNATE ROUTE' with a map of a 500 kilometre detour. "Five hundred kilometres to get around the bridge? Are you kidding!?" Nothing was going right for us.

"No problem," rumbled Theodorus. "Hold on, I'll just shift down."

Before I could ask him what he meant, he gave the magic whole-body wink that my personal experience associated with changing shape. Suddenly I was driving an SUV.

"Good thinking," Zach commended.

"Yeah..." I agreed uncertainly. Something about this did not seem right. I pushed my seat back and adjusted my mirror. That was better.

We drove up on to the bridge. As we approached the top of the arch the road seemed to taper thinner. Zach looked out the window with a calculating expression. "We don't seem to have much room here," he pointed out. "We'll be in trouble if there's any incoming traffic."

"Good point," Theodorus replied. Accordingly, he shrank again, this time to a 3 door hatchback. "Is that better?"

"Much, yes," Zach answered.

"Er," I couldn't really disagree. We had more room on the road now but I was cramped in what had been the cab. I couldn't put my seat back any further and the steering wheel was right between my knees. The ceiling was so low I had to hunch down just to see out the windscreen and avoid hitting my head. Even so, I was grasping the wheel right under my chin. I stole a glance at Zach. He didn't seem cramped at all. I frowned, puzzled, and kept driving.

We were now at the very top of the bridge, which turned out not to be a bridge but rather a roller coaster track that dropped away steeply. A giant wad of fear surged up from my stomach and caught in my throat as I tried to fight for control of my panic. We teetered on the drop. I felt like my eyes were going to fall out of my head.

"Uh oh," Zach laughed. I knew he wasn't afraid of heights. Bastard.

With a barely perceivable blip Theodorus winked smaller again, this time to a vehicle which in my estimation seemed to be about the size of a bucket. I was squashed like a kitten in a beer glass. I was completely curled up, and almost every outer surface of mine was in contact with an inner surface of Theodorus. In the capsule beside me I could just make out a grinning ten-inch chameleon gecko stuck to the glass.

I had just enough time to glare at him before we dropped over the edge.

I jolted awake, and punched myself in the face in the process, my clenched fist wound up under my throat. I ignored Zach staring at me and unfolded all my limbs with no small amount of effort. I'd fallen asleep in the sun. He was preparing the summoning ritual, and had paused.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked incredulously.

"Mrghdunno. D'you need any help with that?"

When we got back to Reliquary a week later, Max had managed not to destroy the property to the ground, although apparently he had come close.

"You killed them on sight, right?" I asked.

"They weren't doing any harm," Max replied.

"They're _vampires! _To exist is a blasphemy! It doesn't matter if they're 'harmless', which, by the way, they are not," I fumed. "New rule! Any vampires caught on the site are killed immediately! If I'm not here to do it, you step in for me!"

"They know they're not welcome," Max continued. "They weren't looking for you anyway. They were looking for Sun Dragon, so I explained the mix up to them, ad they will report it to their superiors."

I choked back a scream. "You told them _we were Mokole!?_"

"No," he insisted. "They didn't need that much convincing once they saw this place."

Hmm. That had been true of several of my Sun Dragon visitors. Apparently whoever this Sun Dragon was, he had a reputation for slightly more impressive digs than an out-of-town junkyard. I gave Max a disgruntled 'Okay, fine' and hoped he was clear that no vampire walks off my property.

Worse was to come.


	7. Chapter 7

Coming around the side of my office to the front of the yard I was met by the sight of two large semi trucks flanking the far side of the turning circle like a pair of giant, menacing heralds. Apparently the Sun Dragon did not want me escaping by vehicle – fine by me, any large, visual barrier between the yard and the highway was generally welcome. In the centre of the turning circle a wirey old Asian man was standing with his feet set apart, his right hand holding a large staff. He wore a neat black suit, his hair and thin beard were greying. His grave eyes forewarned me he was unwilling to negotiate. I met his gaze and gave a small smile.

"Hello! Can I help you?" I cheerfully greeted. I took a moment and looked deeply in to the Sun Dragon, to discover his true nature.

"You are the one they call Dragon," the man spoke. It didn't sound like a question. I was a little lost for a response – the Sun Dragon I'd heard so much about was no Mokole at all. Was he a vampire or a mage? It was hard to read usually, and the glittering belt spirit whizzing around my head didn't make it any easier.

"What do you want?" I demanded, annoyed. The man gave me a patient nod.

"You are unfortunate, child. I seek to overthrow my rivals in Detroit and Chicago by re-establishing my Empire's strength in this new kingdom. I did not expect that my name would suffer through confusion with a pre-established presence. I must insist that you vanquish yourself from this area."

Did his voice just get deeper? If it was an intimidation technique, it was pretty laughable. "You want me to leave because you want to move in? I don't care who you are, the answer is no," I replied. "If I'm going anywhere, it's not because you told me to. You can bugger off back to where ever the hell you came from."

The faux-dragon looked shocked, then looked like he was going to sneeze, then finally arrived at a smirk. I realized it was a smirk he intended all along, it just took a long time to get there. "Soooo beeee iiiiit," he bassooned. Like a sauropod rising from sleep he raised his left arm from his side.

"There! All done!" The Belt Spirit chirruped. In a fraction of a fraction of an instant it poofed away. Before I could ask or even feel a little confused my entire being was awash with an entirely new, foreign sensation. Every fibre of every muscle in my body felt as if it had just reached the peak of a really great trampoline bounce – total, unnatural, inexplicable freedom. I actually felt as if I'd floated a few inches off the ground. I could hardly feel my limbs they were so empowered. Even my jaw and the roots of my hair felt gloriously unrestrained. I blinked.

I heard a long whoof, like a flag unfurling, and realized the man in front of me had just clicked his fingers. I stared at him, and gave him a poke. He was all but motionless. Hmmm. I looked at the two trucks he'd brought with him. I walked past the seemingly-frozen wannabe-dragon to the first truck, slipping in to my archid form like an eel slipping out of a leaky grease pot.

The side panel of the truck easily opened downwards like a ramp to reveal several rows of armed, poised ninjas waiting to pour out. If they were moving at all it was too slow for me to notice. I levered the ramp experimentally, it seemed to move fairly freely. _"Look out! Deliberate ramp malfunction!"_ I warned. I shoved the door roughly back in on the trailer, squashing the minions under the panel. The ramp did not sit down as neatly as I would want for guaranteed ninja-pulping, so I crawled in to the container and lurched back and forth a few times like a cramped duck to really set the press. When I flitted out of the truck, I noticed it was still buckling under my weight – the limited suspension it had was moving so slowly it had not returned itself yet. I turned my attention to the next truck.

The dropping side door-ramp had actually dropped about a human handspan in the time I'd taken to make ninja-jam. I pulled it down fully to see how many ninjas were in there and did a quick count. About a hundred. Wow. I wondered what the crime boss had heard about me that warranted 200 ninjas as backup. Maybe he always liked to make an impression. The ninjas in this container all looked battle ready, their hands in the basic stages of drawing weapons. Experimentally, I pulled one of the men out of the container and dropped him from shoulder height. He stayed in the air, falling so slowly I could not detect it. Hmmm. _"You guys are all in big, big trouble,"_ I warned. I pulled another man out and poked him on the end of his comrade's sword, and positioned his own sword through his would-be slayer's neck. They hung in the air like a morbid but hilarious mobile, slowly, slowly sinking towards the ground. I amused myself with the slow-motion fodder, sticking them through each other, positioning them under glacial-rate falling cars, chopping off their limbs and tying them in knots. It was surprising how fast I ran out of ninjas. All too soon my fun was over. I noticed they were beginning to drift gently downwards now, time was speeding up from Fossilized to On Death's Door. I sat back for a bit and watched my masterpiece come together. Unfortunately, my actions were all too fast for them to make any utterances. I wondered if any of them were suffering delirium.

The entire army taken care of, I thought it was a little more sporting to give their commander my full attention and let him warm up a bit. Things were gradually speeding up as the effect wore off. I considered his perspective, and accordingly dedicated a bit of time to visually tormenting him, running around in him in circles, pausing long enough for him to actually see me in some places, pushing him around and the like. Finally he was actually moving at a speed I could see. I had not dropped my archid form, and as far as I could tell he was suppressing any reaction to the delirium if he was suffering it at all. A strongly disciplined mind, I guess.

I walked in front of him, I could see his eyes following me. I stood in front of him, lowered my face and spent several nanoseconds gazing in to his eyes. They flickered the barest amount. I took it he wasn't enjoying the teasing. I waited a moment more. I could see one of his arms was slowly moving to strike me. I pretended I hadn't noticed, and continued to hover for another half a second. Waiting for his blow to hit was taking an age, but I figured it was more fun that way. Tormenting the stupid is generally something I have patience for, as Max would quickly attest. Finally his arm brushed glacially up against my chin. Instantly I swept my own arm down – _wax off!_ - and gently guided his strike out of the way. His limb was quite resistant, and I suspected it had more to do with his bones holding together than any actual force he might be applying. I didn't want to snap all his limbs off yet.

He was following up the blocked move with a kick. Again, I had plenty of time to see it coming and avoid it accordingly. I continued to play with the dragon for several rounds, flawlessly blocking and dodging his moves like a choreographer's dream student. Needless to say, it was extremely easy, and I was growing bored of it before he had sped up enough for it to be fair.

I turned my attention back to the ninjas for a few moments. It was getting very messy. The punctures and stresses I'd forced were beginning to hemorrhage in spectacular, explosive fashion. Ick. It was a good thing Max was here to clean this up.

I sat back in front of the defrosting geezer and continued playing paddycake with him. Sound was beginning to return to the yard, slowly. Hitting the old guy was now like pushing away the slaps of a three-year-old who was up past is bedtime. "Come on, Gramps, you must be getting tired by now," I muttered. He probably was. I was fairly certain that he was a mundane by now, surely a mage would have had some kind of counter to my advantage? Even so, my speed perception was returning to normal faster than he was tiring. The ninjas were pretty much all done. They'd all hit the ground or met whatever other fate I'd determined for them. I had to actually give my attacker my attention, he was now attacking with the vigour of a youth group dance routine. I decided that if I were in Homid, we were probably past the point that I could beat him. It was time to end this.

"I'm warning you. Stop." I drew my hand and struck his shoulder. Without any delay I heard the bones crack under my blow. I took a step back and dropped my monster shape, returning to my human woman appearance a few feet away from my attacker. "You lose. Go home, stop annoying me," I commanded. The man was reeling slightly from his broken arm, breathing ragged breaths. He glared at me for a moment, his one arm fallen limp, then screamed at me and charged. Within an instant he was on me and had kicked me in to the ground. Only for an instant.

"What are you, nuts?" No sooner had I kissed the dust than I'd un-reverted back to my archid form. The old man was still screaming and attacking parts of me that were low enough to reach. I grimaced and held my head as high as I could. I took another swat at him and threw out his other arm. It did little to quell his fury. He continued to rage, kicking at me with all the resolve his little heart had. _"Enough!"_ I derided. I shoved the imposter forward, and before he could run back towards me I swept around to smack him with my tail. With a satisfying crack he was shot back in to the ninja debris. _"Gao! What the hell was that!?"_ I dropped my form again, and turned around to see Zach standing slack-jawed in the doorway of the office. "What are you staring at?" I muttered as I marched in to the battle field to confirm it was over.

Max was not happy. The yard was a disgusting mess, and although I had cleaned up the bulk of the garbage, I had tasked him with spot cleaning. He didn't complain, and although he looked sour I think he was as relieved as the rest of us that things would be scaled back to their normal level of weirdness now my curse had been lifted. A little bit of cleaning wouldn't hurt the nancy.

We were sitting around one of the largest tributes I'd ever sent to Volcano. Two fully-loaded semi trucks were happily burning to oblivion in a magnificent inferno. "No more weird dreams?" Zach asked.

"Nope," I confirmed.

"No more tiredness?"

"Never felt better."

"Never felt better? Really?" Zach sounded surprised. I held up the dirty gun Max had tried and failed to restore. I wrapped my fingers around the body and squeezed. Inside my hand the gun crumpled like an aluminium beer can. It snapped apart, and the crumbs fell out of my fist. Zach's eyes widened.

"Endurance training like it's never been done before, I guess."


	8. Chapter 8

Coming around the side of my office to the front of the yard I was met by the sight of two large semi trucks flanking the far side of the turning circle like a pair of giant, menacing heralds. Apparently the Sun Dragon did not want me escaping by vehicle – fine by me, any large, visual barrier between the yard and the highway was generally welcome. In the centre of the turning circle a wirey old Asian man was standing with his feet set apart, his right hand holding a large staff. He wore a neat black suit, his hair and thin beard were greying. His grave eyes forewarned me he was unwilling to negotiate. I met his gaze and gave a small smile.

"Hello! Can I help you?" I cheerfully greeted. I took a moment and looked deeply in to the Sun Dragon, to discover his true nature.

"You are the one they call Dragon," the man spoke. It didn't sound like a question. I was a little lost for a response – the Sun Dragon I'd heard so much about was no Mokole at all. Was he a vampire or a mage? It was hard to read usually, and the glittering belt spirit whizzing around my head didn't make it any easier.

"What do you want?" I demanded, annoyed. The man gave me a patient nod.

"You are unfortunate, child. I seek to overthrow my rivals in Detroit and Chicago by re-establishing my Empire's strength in this new kingdom. I did not expect that my name would suffer through confusion with a pre-established presence. I must insist that you vanquish yourself from this area."

Did his voice just get deeper? If it was an intimidation technique, it was pretty laughable. "You want me to leave because you want to move in? I don't care who you are, the answer is no," I replied. "If I'm going anywhere, it's not because you told me to. You can bugger off back to where ever the hell you came from."

The faux-dragon looked shocked, then looked like he was going to sneeze, then finally arrived at a smirk. I realized it was a smirk he intended all along, it just took a long time to get there. "Soooo beeee iiiiit," he bassooned. Like a sauropod rising from sleep he raised his left arm from his side.

"There! All done!" The Belt Spirit chirruped. In a fraction of a fraction of an instant it poofed away. Before I could ask or even feel a little confused my entire being was awash with an entirely new, foreign sensation. Every fibre of every muscle in my body felt as if it had just reached the peak of a really great trampoline bounce – total, unnatural, inexplicable freedom. I actually felt as if I'd floated a few inches off the ground. I could hardly feel my limbs they were so empowered. Even my jaw and the roots of my hair felt gloriously unrestrained. I blinked.

I heard a long whoof, like a flag unfurling, and realized the man in front of me had just clicked his fingers. I stared at him, and gave him a poke. He was all but motionless. Hmmm. I looked at the two trucks he'd brought with him. I walked past the seemingly-frozen wannabe-dragon to the first truck, slipping in to my archid form like an eel slipping out of a leaky grease pot.

The side panel of the truck easily opened downwards like a ramp to reveal several rows of armed, poised ninjas waiting to pour out. If they were moving at all it was too slow for me to notice. I levered the ramp experimentally, it seemed to move fairly freely. _"Look out! Deliberate ramp malfunction!"_ I warned. I shoved the door roughly back in on the trailer, squashing the minions under the panel. The ramp did not sit down as neatly as I would want for guaranteed ninja-pulping, so I crawled in to the container and lurched back and forth a few times like a cramped duck to really set the press. When I flitted out of the truck, I noticed it was still buckling under my weight – the limited suspension it had was moving so slowly it had not returned itself yet. I turned my attention to the next truck.

The dropping side door-ramp had actually dropped about a human handspan in the time I'd taken to make ninja-jam. I pulled it down fully to see how many ninjas were in there and did a quick count. About a hundred. Wow. I wondered what the crime boss had heard about me that warranted 200 ninjas as backup. Maybe he always liked to make an impression. The ninjas in this container all looked battle ready, their hands in the basic stages of drawing weapons. Experimentally, I pulled one of the men out of the container and dropped him from shoulder height. He stayed in the air, falling so slowly I could not detect it. Hmmm. _"You guys are all in big, big trouble,"_ I warned. I pulled another man out and poked him on the end of his comrade's sword, and positioned his own sword through his would-be slayer's neck. They hung in the air like a morbid but hilarious mobile, slowly, slowly sinking towards the ground. I amused myself with the slow-motion fodder, sticking them through each other, positioning them under glacial-rate falling cars, chopping off their limbs and tying them in knots. It was surprising how fast I ran out of ninjas. All too soon my fun was over. I noticed they were beginning to drift gently downwards now, time was speeding up from Fossilized to On Death's Door. I sat back for a bit and watched my masterpiece come together. Unfortunately, my actions were all too fast for them to make any utterances. I wondered if any of them were suffering delirium.

The entire army taken care of, I thought it was a little more sporting to give their commander my full attention and let him warm up a bit. Things were gradually speeding up as the effect wore off. I considered his perspective, and accordingly dedicated a bit of time to visually tormenting him, running around in him in circles, pausing long enough for him to actually see me in some places, pushing him around and the like. Finally he was actually moving at a speed I could see. I had not dropped my archid form, and as far as I could tell he was suppressing any reaction to the delirium if he was suffering it at all. A strongly disciplined mind, I guess.

I walked in front of him, I could see his eyes following me. I stood in front of him, lowered my face and spent several nanoseconds gazing in to his eyes. They flickered the barest amount. I took it he wasn't enjoying the teasing. I waited a moment more. I could see one of his arms was slowly moving to strike me. I pretended I hadn't noticed, and continued to hover for another half a second. Waiting for his blow to hit was taking an age, but I figured it was more fun that way. Tormenting the stupid is generally something I have patience for, as Max would quickly attest. Finally his arm brushed glacially up against my chin. Instantly I swept my own arm down – _wax off!_ - and gently guided his strike out of the way. His limb was quite resistant, and I suspected it had more to do with his bones holding together than any actual force he might be applying. I didn't want to snap all his limbs off yet.

He was following up the blocked move with a kick. Again, I had plenty of time to see it coming and avoid it accordingly. I continued to play with the dragon for several rounds, flawlessly blocking and dodging his moves like a choreographer's dream student. Needless to say, it was extremely easy, and I was growing bored of it before he had sped up enough for it to be fair.

I turned my attention back to the ninjas for a few moments. It was getting very messy. The punctures and stresses I'd forced were beginning to hemorrhage in spectacular, explosive fashion. Ick. It was a good thing Max was here to clean this up.

I sat back in front of the defrosting geezer and continued playing paddycake with him. Sound was beginning to return to the yard, slowly. Hitting the old guy was now like pushing away the slaps of a three-year-old who was up past is bedtime. "Come on, Gramps, you must be getting tired by now," I muttered. He probably was. I was fairly certain that he was a mundane by now, surely a mage would have had some kind of counter to my advantage? Even so, my speed perception was returning to normal faster than he was tiring. The ninjas were pretty much all done. They'd all hit the ground or met whatever other fate I'd determined for them. I had to actually give my attacker my attention, he was now attacking with the vigour of a youth group dance routine. I decided that if I were in Homid, we were probably past the point that I could beat him. It was time to end this.

"I'm warning you. Stop." I drew my hand and struck his shoulder. Without any delay I heard the bones crack under my blow. I took a step back and dropped my monster shape, returning to my human woman appearance a few feet away from my attacker. "You lose. Go home, stop annoying me," I commanded. The man was reeling slightly from his broken arm, breathing ragged breaths. He glared at me for a moment, his one arm fallen limp, then screamed at me and charged. Within an instant he was on me and had kicked me in to the ground. Only for an instant.

"What are you, nuts?" No sooner had I kissed the dust than I'd un-reverted back to my archid form. The old man was still screaming and attacking parts of me that were low enough to reach. I grimaced and held my head as high as I could. I took another swat at him and threw out his other arm. It did little to quell his fury. He continued to rage, kicking at me with all the resolve his little heart had. _"Enough!"_ I derided. I shoved the imposter forward, and before he could run back towards me I swept around to smack him with my tail. With a satisfying crack he was shot back in to the ninja debris. _"Gao! What the hell was that!?"_ I dropped my form again, and turned around to see Zach standing slack-jawed in the doorway of the office. "What are you staring at?" I muttered as I marched in to the battle field to confirm it was over.

Max was not happy. The yard was a disgusting mess, and although I had cleaned up the bulk of the garbage, I had tasked him with spot cleaning. He didn't complain, and although he looked sour I think he was as relieved as the rest of us that things would be scaled back to their normal level of weirdness now my curse had been lifted. A little bit of cleaning wouldn't hurt the nancy.

We were sitting around one of the largest tributes I'd ever sent to Volcano. Two fully-loaded semi trucks were happily burning to oblivion in a magnificent inferno. "No more weird dreams?" Zach asked.

"Nope," I confirmed.

"No more tiredness?"

"Never felt better."

"Never felt better? Really?" Zach sounded surprised. I held up the dirty gun Max had tried and failed to restore. I wrapped my fingers around the body and squeezed. Inside my hand the gun crumpled like an aluminium beer can. It snapped apart, and the crumbs fell out of my fist. Zach's eyes widened.

"Endurance training like it's never been done before, I guess."


End file.
